The teenage years can be some of the most difficult that an individual can experience. Not only is it difficult for the person that is going through these years themselves, it can also be difficult on the parent of a teenage child. Many people that were close to their child all throughout their lifetime suddenly find themselves in a position where they and their teenager are growing apart in many different ways. If you want to have a close bond between you and your teen, here is how to create one. It may take a little bit of work to get things going and to maintain, but it will be well worth it in the end.

One thing that both you and your teenager need to understand is that the generation gap does not really exist. Many of the things that your teenager is experiencing are the same things that you experienced whenever you were their age. Although some of the details and faces may have changed during that time, we all have the same anxieties that we experience whenever we are entering into adulthood through the eyes of a teenager. If both of you realize that you’re not so different, it will make the entire process of securing a close bond with your child much easier.

Communication during this time is very vital and hopefully, you have been building a relationship based on communication with your child, even before they entered their teenage years. Even if you haven’t done this, however, it is still possible to get to know your teenager and to communicate with them effectively. Don’t try to be too much like them as far as how you speak and act, allow them to have their individuality in this regard. By talking with them on both serious and everyday matters, however, you will be building a relationship with them that you will be able to rely on throughout their lifetime.

One final thing that you can do is to allow them to develop as individuals. Don’t try to mold them into your idea of what the perfect teenager should be. That doesn’t mean, however, that they should be totally without guidelines but as long as they maintain their position in the family arrangement, they should be able to express themselves as the individuals that they are. If you allow them to do this, you will be gaining their respect to a certain degree and helping to forge a bond between the two of you as well.

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As pet owners, we have certain expectations that surround the development and actions that our pets take in the household.  As parents, we also have expectations of what our child is going to accomplish throughout their life.  Although there are vast differences between pets and children, there are also many similarities.  These similarities can range from the personalities of the individual pets and children to the type of things that they may be regularly doing in our lives.  There’s no doubt, we love both our children and our pets so let’s take a look at how kids are like pets and how both of them affect us in a very personal way.

The first way that kids are like pets is because of the things that they try to get away with.  A child will push your limits on a constant basis in order to see exactly how far they can take those limits.  As a matter of fact, you will no doubt find yourself being put to the test on a regular basis in order to see if they can actually get away with something.  Do you recognize this behavior in your pets as well?  Of course you do.  A pet will also push the envelope, so to speak, in order to see how far they can take things before they receive some kind of disciplinary action.

Another way that children in our lives are like the pets in our lives is because of the love they give back to us.  This is especially the case whenever they are younger but even as children approach their teenage years and enter into this difficult time of life, they also give love back to us, even if they have a difficult time expressing it.  A dog will give you unconditional love and will come running to greet you at the door with a wagging tail as soon as you enter the house.  A child may not run to you every time you enter into the room but it’s not difficult for you to recognize the fact that a child needs you and is more comfortable whenever you’re around, even if they are not outwardly expressive of this.

Both our pets and our children are our responsibility to care for, to keep warm and well fed, to discipline when necessary and to show unconditional love throughout their lifetime.

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Sometimes work schedules stretch mothers and fathers to the breaking point with little time left for the people who matter most: children. Thankfully, spending time with family is more than ticking away the hours of a dull day; it is about quality interaction between parents and children. Even though it may seem like the twenty-four hour day needs to be lengthened, it actually provides plenty of time to accomplish the most important mission of all—time with family.

Schedules, including work, travel, and possibly continued education, often seem like the enemy. They appear to rob parents of valuable time with children during their formative years. This seemingly dark cloud does have a silver lining, however. Work provides valuable resources for the family in terms of food, shelter, health insurance, and savings. Additional education enriches the parents’ lives, broadens their horizons, and can lead to more rewarding careers. Beyond the obvious, these necessary activities outside parenting provide parents with a very important reminder: Time is precious.

In parenting, as in life, it is vital to remember the value of your time varies by how you spend it. If a parent spends all day at home watching television, obviously the child is not benefiting from their presence. On the other hand, if a parent spends just fifteen minutes devoted to interaction with their child, that parent will have done wonders for their little one. Quality, not necessarily quantity, is the main feature of a healthy parent-child relationship.

Presence is more than a physical state. Love and care are involved in the selection of childcare, clothing, and feeding children. Every aspect of a child’s world exists because of the efforts put forth by the parent or caregiver. The parent sustains the life of the child. This vital role does not evaporate when the parent dons business attire and continues on their morning commute after dropping their child off at school.

Children whose parents work are not always suffering souls. Involvement in extracurricular activities and preschool as a result of parental work schedules often benefit the child. High quality, loving daycare and preschool settings enrich children’s lives and provide a solid foundation for the future. In fact, in a 1996 study entitled The Five to Seven Year Shift: The Age of Reason and Responsibility researchers found, “Children with extensive preschool experience tend to adjust to kindergarten more easily than those who spent little or no time in preschool. Children who start kindergarten with peers they know and like generally do better.”

Part of being there for a child is letting that child know they are in your thoughts; it is a matter of doing little things that show you care. Small remembrances like sending a note in your child’s lunch or bringing them a healthy snack or something to drink when picking them up at the end of a long day at school or preschool are a token of affection your young child will treasure. Older children may also appreciate hearing a retelling of a joke heard by the parent during the day, the chance to engage in a conversation about their school day, or a discussion of plans around the table in the evening. In all cases, showing that a child’s feelings matter and they are remembered even in their absence is an important part of family bonding. These small acts do not require vast amounts of time; they only require small continual acknowledgements by the parent.

In an effort to build a strong bond and fond memories, set routines can be a benefit to hurried, harried parents.  The morning rush out the door can become more pleasant through planning. For younger children, getting an early start each day, with a morning book reading as the child is waking, sets a nice tone for the day and makes waking up less of a chore.  Reading to children, for as little as five to fifteen minutes each day, at a young age provides children valuable skills for the future.  According to Gabrielle Simcock, author of a recent study related to children and reading published by the American Psychological Association, “…research shows that very young children can learn to perform novel actions with novel objects from a brief picture-book reading interaction. This common form of interaction that takes place very early in children’s lives, may provide an important source of information to them about the world around them.”

All the way out the door and up the steps to school, through reinforcing and comforting routines, parents can work to create bonds that will set the stage for strong family ties.  For example, children love to play games in the car. Younger children can enjoy play games of I-Spy and variations of the License Plate Game to pass the time on the way to class. Encouraging words from the parent as the drive goes along can help the child learn about the world and experience the affection of the parent.

Later in the day, routines can be a blessing as well, dinner at the table—even if it is a fast food meal picked up on the way home—can provide quality family time. Discussing the day’s events before dispersing for homework, housework, or bed gives families the opportunity to check in with each other and show that they care. Reading a book at night, before tucking the child into bed is a tried and true parenting routine beloved by generations of children. Time conscious parents will be happy to note that story books listing the average length of the story in minutes can be found in the children’s section of the bookstore. Some titles with this handy device include: Disney’s 5 Minute Bedtime Stories by Catherine Hapka, A Treasury of Bedtime Stories by Linda Yeatman, and Three Minute Tales: Stories to Tell When Time Is Short by Margaret Read MacDonald.

On the weekend, when more time is available, scheduling a regular family game time every other weekend–as an important meeting–gives everyone something to look forward to on the day off. Finding and collecting board games can be fun for the whole family and offer a variety of entertainment that transcends the focus on gadgets, gizmos, and time in front of the television or computer screen common in this modern life. Parents can try such classics as Clue,  Sorry, Monopoly, or branch out into new realms with the family board game with such emerging classics as Khet: The Laser Game—a blend of checkers and chess that involves laser light—or Cadoo: Family Fun—an inventive game which, as the name suggests, is fun for the whole family.

There are many ways to play an active role in family life, but parents do not need an extra hours in the day to do it. All it takes is a kind word here and there, a brief remembrance, or fifteen minutes to an hour set aside in time pockets throughout the week. Children are adaptable and appreciate the time that parents give them. The only requirement is that the parent demonstrates they care and are tuned in to their child through positive interaction.  Parents should also remember that quality time and parenting in general are not about perfection but about persistence.

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There are a lot of parents who allow their child to sleep in the bed with them, and they are perfectly happy with the arrangement. However, many moms and dads just aren’t into ‘co-sleeping’ with their children. They feel a married couple’s bed should belong to them and only them, for sleeping and, well, other things. Being intimate and getting a good night’s sleep are two large parts of a healthy marriage, and let’s face it: if your child is curled up in the bed with you, it’s hard to have either one of those things. So, what is the best way to get your child out of your bed?

This was the question Charlotte Patrick kept asking herself over and over. “My daughter Aiden was three years old, and although I would put her to sleep every night in her bed, she continued to get up and climb into the bed with me and my husband. This was an improvement to us, though, as we had finally taught her to actually fall asleep in her bed. Getting her to stay there was a different story altogether.”

Charlotte tried different methods of getting Aiden out of her parents’ bed, from walking her back to her room to just camping out with her daughter on the twin bed in Aiden’s room. Being frustrated at no positive results with these methods, Charlotte finally sought help.

Child specialist Deborah Woodson suggests taking the following measures to help your child stay in his or her own room all night.

Make your child’s room comfortable to him or her

You want them to love their room, and to want to spend time in there. Let your child help with the design. While this doesn’t seem like much, having their own color choices, bedding, and decorations can really make a child feel more comfortable with their room. If they are having issues with the darkness in their room at night, you may want to add a night light that will provide a soft glow in their room.

Make sure their bed size is appropriate

Some children are not concerned with the size of their bed. However some of them will feel intimidated by a very large bed. This is especially true if they have just been moved from their crib. Rather than placing a twin or full-sized bed, try a toddler bed for a while in order to help them adjust. Then, as they grow more comfortable, you can move up to a twin bed. This may help them feel cozier and safer in their room.

Do not lie down with your child

When your child becomes accustomed to you lying in the bed with them, they can truly start to think they can’t go to sleep without someone in the bed with them. If you do lie down with them, make it short and don’t allow them to fall asleep while you’re in the bed. You want your child to understand that he or she can fall asleep by themselves.

Establish a consistent bedtime routine

Doing the same thing every night, starting at the same time, will help your child understand when it is time to settle down and time to go to sleep. If your child feels he or she must go into your bedroom with you, this is a great method. Start out by getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, and getting cozy. You might then read your child a book and sing a little sleep song. After that, tell your child goodnight and that it’s bedtime. Do not give in to crying, because if you do, your child will cry every night. They will know exactly what gets results!

Finally, if your child comes into your room in the middle of the night…

Calmly tell your child that the rules are for him or her to stay in and sleep in their own bed. Walk them back to their room, help them get cozy, and then go back to your own bed. Do this as many times as you need to. The first couple of nights may be rough, but soon your child will understand that he or she can go to sleep by themselves and that they don’t need you in order to feel comfortable. These tips and methods for getting your child out of your bed work best if they are done consistently. Establishing a routine and sticking to it will help tremendously. Soon, it will be just you and your spouse again!

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There are certain periods in a marriage where a couple may become more distant than normal. Some of those times might include the birth of a child, issues at work, or even a rough patch in the marriage. It can make you feel pretty lonely to be disconnected from the person you love. However, all is definitely not lost! According to marriage expert Sandra Kirk, the key to reconnecting is to find that spark again, and maintain it. If you’re wondering how in the world you do that on top of work, the kids, and every other stress you have on a daily basis, keep reading!

Just like a car, your marriage needs maintenance. A car will occasionally need an oil change, new tires, and a tune-up. Your marriage is the same. Without routine maintenance, your car may end up in the shop! The same goes for a marriage. At risk of taking this analogy a little too far, your marriage needs fuel to burn in the same way your car needs gasoline.

Laugh It Up!

There are many things you can do to maintain your marriage, and one of the most important things you can do is retain your sense of humor! In fact, in one survey, older married couples were asked what kept their marriage happy and alive for so long, and nearly every one of them said a great sense of humor was the key! Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself with the person who knows you better than anyone, who can you laugh at yourself with? Of course, this is not sarcastic laughter, but true laughter as if the two of you are the only ones in the world who are in on a clever joke. Try keeping your sense of humor in any situation. It really does lighten the mood and inspire happy feelings.

Just the Two of You!

Even if you have very busy schedules, with children and demanding careers, you need to find time for just you and your spouse. This is one of the most important things you can do to rediscover that spark and maintain a happy marriage. If need be, hire a reliable babysitter just a few hours a week and spend time with your spouse having dinner, seeing a great movie, walking on the beach, or whatever it is you enjoy. Ensuring that you have this kind of time together will help keep your marriage strong and make it stronger.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!

You have probably heard this a million times, and there’s a reason. During a typical marriage, it can be very easy to get frustrated because your spouse forgot to pick his or her clothes up from the floor, or missed an important meeting. However, keeping things in perspective can really help. These sorts of things are not tragedies. Someone losing their life is a tragedy; finding out that you have a chronic disease is a tragedy; your spouse not closing the shower curtain for the third time is not a tragedy. When you look at things this way, it can help keep you from getting frustrated over the small stuff. Be glad that you still have a healthy spouse that’s able to forget the shower curtain!

Just Talk!

Experts say that one of the most important components to a great marriage is communication. While you simply can’t sit down every day and have a lengthy, emotional conversation with your spouse, you can talk. Even if you only talk while you’re cooking together, or doing dishes, or even before bed – it’s important to do it. Let your spouse know what you love about them. An example would be, “Honey, you were so great at dinner with the neighbors. You’re so funny!” It’s short, sweet, and hopefully true! It simply lets your spouse know you love and appreciate them. These few words can go a really long way toward making your marriage healthy and happy.

While these things may seem very small, they are individual gallons of gas that are going toward a full tank. Taking a few minutes out of your day is all you really need to do in order to maintain your marriage and reconnect.

Of course, if your problems are more complicated, you may want to consider marriage counseling. The most important thing you can do as an individual is to never stop trying. This is where many couples fall off the path that leads to a healthy marriage. Utilizing the tips above will keep you on that coveted path and heading toward happily ever after.

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February 14th is usually marked with flowers, chocolates, and love letters. Many couples like to end their Valentine’s Day with a romantic dinner and a glass of fine wine.

However, with the kids around, enjoying a quiet Valentine’s Day is nearly impossible. For a nice evening, find a babysitter or drop the kids off at Grandma’s. You don’t want to be interrupted by a crying baby while the two of you are whispering words of love to each other.

Creating the perfect setting will make the night memorable. Here are a few tips:

• Whether it’s a bouquet from the local florist or a nice arrangement of flowers from the backyard, flowers are a great touch. Too busy to run to the florist? Order online: http://www.gagazine.com/flowers
• Set the mood with lighting. Use candles or dim the lights and turn on some soft music.
• Cook your loved one’s favorite dish.
• And pair the meal with a nice bottle of wine or bubbly. For pairing suggestions to make your dinner extra special, visit: http://www.winehappy.com

Don’t forget to share your story with me below in the comments field!

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It’s been a while since my husband and I sat on the couch and did a movie marathon night. We used to designate Friday nights (or Sat nights if we had other plans) to watch movies or shows all night and then sleep in the next day. It’s been tough with the new baby. But last night, we stayed up until 4 am watching the first season of Lost. I can’t believe we never watched it before. It’s such a great show! We have been so engrossed in Dexter that we aren’t interested in watching any other shows. Plus, the baby makes it so hard to watch a lot of TV so the shows we watch are quite selective!

I just wanted to say that it was nice to watch hours upon hours of continuous TV without the baby’s interruptions. I sure miss those days…

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